a "thing"

  • [Garcia distributes new iPads to the team]
  • Prentiss: Whoa!
  • Garcia: Welcome to the 21st century. Yay, technology. Behold - everyone has a new tablet.
  • Reid: We've gone paperless?
  • Garcia: Fear not, Doctor of the Dark Ages, I went old school for your anti-technology quirk—paper files, hard copy photos—but the, uh, abacus is your responsibility.
  • Hotch: Garcia, not that I don't appreciate your efforts, but exactly where did the funding for these come from?
  • Garcia: I did a thing...
  • Hotch: "A thing?"
  • Garcia: Best not talk about the thing?
  • Hotch: We'll talk about the thing later.


  • Rossi: Can somebody explain to me the appeal of these sites? "Eating sushi tonight yum." "Boss is keeping me late tonight grrr." Whose life is so important that we'd be interested in this kind of detail?
  • Prentiss: Social networking sites?
  • Garcia: Yeah. Facebook, Twitter, you name, an online life-sharing time suck. The victims were on it. And if you look at each of their last posts, they say kind of the same thing. Going out of town, going on a business trip, going on vacation. But, when you look at the time and date stamp of each of these, cue the Twilight Zone music, because they were all posted the morning after the women went missing.
  • Rossi: "The internet is the first thing that humanity has built that humanity doesn't understand - the largest experiment in anarchy that we have ever had." - Eric Schmidt.

But I wanted one...

  • Sheriff: -about Garcia- If you are looking for a gift to get me, one of her would be greatly appreciated.
  • Rossi: We're pretty sure they broke the mold.

Ah, yes. Tetris.

  • Morgan: My bomb fragments, let’s start putting this bad boy together.
  • Garcia: Why bother, don’t you just dust for prints and...stuff?
  • Morgan: Garcia, what are you doing in the FBI?
  • Garcia: I didn’t get into medical school.
  • [while piecing together the bomb]
  • Garcia: : If there was a longer rod it could have fit here and gone all the way through.
  • [Morgan looks a her in surprise]
  • Garcia: Tetris.

~ ♥ ~

  • Garcia: You've reached Penelope Garcia in the FBI's office of Supreme Genius.
  • Morgan: Hey it's Morgan. I need you to work some magic here. I've got a program called Deadbolt Defence and a girl with only a couple hours to live so what do you know?
  • Garcia: You've got a problem. Deadbolt's the number one password crack-resistant software out there. You're gonna have to get inside this guy's head to get the password.
  • Morgan: I thought I was calling the office of Supreme Genius.
  • Garcia: Well gorgeous, you've been re-routed to the office of Too Freakin' Bad.